does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
