OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
