So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
