im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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