The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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