So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
