so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
