I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
