You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
