I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize