im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am puke
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
