I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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