if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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