Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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