I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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