I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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