their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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