Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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