Taylor Swift is so right about you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
