they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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