Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
When are your genitals available?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize