I wish you could order shots online.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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