What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
