Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My dick has a subreddit
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
