I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
