if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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