"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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