I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
