yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
