Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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