I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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