Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
