we're blogging at a bar
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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