it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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