if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
