Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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