I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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