Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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