We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize