I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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