Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
