I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
