im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just had sex bonerless
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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