So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All the doctor said was why
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
