When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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