Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
