No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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