Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
