we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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