I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
