My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
