Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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