oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
