it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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