i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
3pm strippers are depressing
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
