About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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