Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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