just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What drink are we having for lunch?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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