You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
