i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
