He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
