if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
