Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
