We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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