hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
