dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
