I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
