So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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