so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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