just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
