it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize